Years ago, early in my journey with Christ I used to think I was going to become a Perfect Christian Woman. I looked forward to the day I’d finally overcome all my flaws and become...Perfect. I wanted to always have the perfect Christ-like response to everything and everyone and thought God wanted me to practically have a halo floating over my head 😇.
I wanted to be perfect like the leaders I’d see up front at church. Little did I know that many of them struggled with the same thing I did—thinking they were supposed to be perfect, or at least appear perfect. I now call that (believing we’re to appear perfect) the Perfect Image Trap—the PIT😐and I was definitely stuck in one.
Of course those leaders were no more perfect than I was. But it was my perception, just like it was my perception or actually my misunderstanding that God expected me to be perfect.
I wore the perfect persona mask but wasn’t aware of it at the time. When you wear a mask it becomes a normal part of who you are and you’re not even aware it’s there.
At home I was one way, at church and in public another, and because I kept failing at being perfect I felt like a hypocrite, and I was hyper critical of myself.
It wasn’t until God opened my eyes that I realized I was stuck in a PIT...
My husband took a job at our new church. It turned out to be the worst ever church experience, but God has a purpose in everything.
The leaders at that church were abusive to staff. They were one way on stage and another off stage. And I despised it.
But interestingly enough, God used those very people as a mirror for me to see the truth about myself.
How was I much different than them?
Those leaders wore perfect appearance masks and so did I.
Through that experience God helped me escape the Perfect Image Trap and lose the mask.
I went from believing I was supposed to be perfect to embracing my imperfect self and understanding that there are actually blessings in being imperfect when you’re on a journey with Christ.
Embracing my imperfect self allows me to experience God's grace, abundance and freedom everyday.